Demon-Chasin’ Essential Oil
Have you ever heard of an “essential oil”? I had, but I didn’t know much about it, about them. I knew they were supposed to smell good. I looked it up, and the “official” definition goes something like this: “An essential oil is an all-natural, volatile aromatic compound derived from a plant.” What does “volatile” mean? It means that it goes from a liquid state to a gaseous state quickly. They smell good, serving as a sort of organic perfume or air freshener, and some people believe they have healing properties. Some people believe they can do even more than that, things like, oh, curing demonic possession.
I know this chick who sells essential oils. Her husband committed suicide a few years ago. (Please don’t anyone think I’m making light of suicide or the struggles of people who suffer from mental illness.) She recently told me that, each year on the anniversary of his death, the demons that possessed him and drove him to suicide return to attack her. “But it’s okay,” she assured me. “I’ve got an essential oil for that.”
Well. Okay, then.
You all would have been proud of me. I managed to restrain myself from asking which oil it is specifically that exorcises demons. Someday, though, I’m gonna have to get me some of that oil. I mean, it’s demon-drivin’-off oil, after all. That’s what I’d call essential.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!