Cereal Monsters

Funko, you’re killin’ me. You just keep forcing me to give you my money. (All you other companies out there, tripping over yourselves trying to figure out ways to get some of my hard-earned—well, relatively-speaking—cash, you could learn a lot from Funko. It really is simple. Just make stuff that I want, and then offer it for sale at a reasonably-reasonable price. I’ll bite that hook every single time.

The new wave of Funko Mystery Minis is called “Ad Icons” and will feature miniaturized figures of the classic Cereal Monsters Frankenberry, Count Chocula, Boo Berry, and even Fruit Brute (the werewolf) and Yummy Mummy. (Note: Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy both pimp the same mixed-fruit flavor of cereal. They are the only two Monsters who have to share a flavor.) And then Funko is giving us Kool-Aid Man, the owl from Tootsie-rolls, and the Jolly Green Giant, too! I might as well just hand them my bank card at this point.

No word yet on when exactly these figures in their infuriating little “blind” bags will be available for purchase. Stay tuned.

Y’know, Funko, I *could* refuse to publicize you anymore unless you start offering me free swag. Just sayin’.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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