WerewolvesYes, please, and thank you! With news breaking this week that a new lighthearted and comedic take on one of the classic Universal Monsters is planned—we don’t yet know which one—and that this film will star non-actor Channing Tatum, any other news relating to the Universal Monsters universe could be, depending on what it is,…Continue readingLandon to JEKYLL AND HYDE?
Here’s some good news to counterbalance the news this week that plans are underway for a new comedic “reimagining” of a Universal Monster (ugh) with Channing Tatum (ugh) set to star: Robert Englund, Freddy Krueger himself, has joined the cast of STRANGER THINGS for the forthcoming fourth season! That’s so cool that it almost, dang-near…Continue readingFreddy to STRANGER THINGS
Uh-oh. This doesn’t sound good. Not at all. Rumors are that a new Universal Monsters movie is in the works, and that Channing Tatum will be starring in it. That could mean that Tatum could be playing the part of the Monster. Even if he isn’t though, even if he’s only playing a supporting role,…Continue readingChanning Tatum and the Universal Monsters
Dammit! This dude in Germany is gonna make us all look bad! They say that the suspect in a case of murder and cannibalism from Berlin, a high school teacher who has not yet been identified, had shown an interest in cannibalism before his recent arrest, after the discovery of a body with bones bearing…Continue readingBones with Bite Marks
This is what happened: They placed me, my hands bound with rope behind my back, upon the pedestal that would lift me up into the arena. I could hear the roar of the multitudes through the ceiling, so loud that it shook dust from the rafters, thousands, tens of thousands of voices shouting, clamoring for…Continue readingTHE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF Part 53
Why, after all I had known in my life, did I find it so hard to believe? The sad truth of it is, while I did not hold to any doubts concerning the existence of God, I did doubt—in fact, if I am honest with myself, and with you who are reading these words, I…Continue readingTHE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF Part 52
I’m going to list these two together, even though Mr. Ruby passed away a few months ago and Mr. Spears died just last week. The two men are inextricably linked, and while it’s sad that they’ve left us, it’s appropriate that they both made their exits from the mortal stage so close together. It’s sorta…Continue readingIn Memoriam: Joe Ruby and Ken Spears
But what will Leatherface do with the *rest* of the body? It makes for tasty barbecue, they say. Somebody who had a deal worked out with a surgeon who had leftover human skin on-hand from performing cosmetic surgeries on formerly morbidly obese patients who have since lost lots of weight and thus had to have…Continue readingHuman Skin For Sale
A group of twentysomething friends—shockingly there are five of them, two females and three males, and of the latter, one of them is a wisecracking black dude; this in itself ought to tell you all you need to know about the kind of movie you’re going to be watching—goes to a cabin in the woods…Continue readingMovie Review: THE BREED
My hat is off to screenwriter Anna Shields, who also portrays the lead character in this film. She’s got some real chops. MONSTROUS does a fine job of subverting expectations. Things don’t play out the way you expect them to. The flick is fresh and inventive and, supported by strong performances by all the principal…Continue readingMovie Review: MONSTROUS
Yes, I despaired. The visitation had robbed me of all hope. Yet that hopelessness gave me a renewed strength, as well, for when one is in all sense devoid of hope, in the grip of perfect hopelessness, what recourse has he but to abandon all to God? In my weakness was my strength. In my…Continue readingTHE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF Part 51
Neil Marshall, the guy who gave us DOG SOLDIERS and THE DESCENT, two of the best Horror movies of the past two decades, is working on a new flick entitled THE LAIR. I’m in, already. This guy’s resume sells it for me. And the title. And the fact that it’s described by him as a…Continue readingAnd Speaking of THE LAIR
I won’t say that I’ve been champing at the bit (Note: I didn’t misspell the word “champing”, there; “champing” is correct, not “chomping”—there’s your English lesson for today. See, Mom, all those years spent working towards that English degree and that teaching degree weren’t wasted!) for a sequel to DOG SOLDIERS. I sure wouldn’t turn…Continue readingAnother DOG SOLDIERS?
The other day I was driving north on Interstate 65 in my home state of Alabama when I saw a sign advertising a Halloween store at an approaching exit. As the first day of Halloween had just passed (You all know that Halloween is a season, right? It isn’t just one day.) I wondered if…Continue readingRebel Hell
After the Roman writer Petronius, who, in his SATYRICON in 1 AD, mentioned a werewolf transformation beneath a full moon but did not explicitly draw a connection between the two events, when was the next mention of the connection, or possible connection, between lunar activity and the transformation of man into beast? In Literature, which…Continue readingWhence the Full Moon, Part Two
Before I say anything else, let me say this. My grandfather only had three fingers on his right hand. Some people with disabilities, specifically ectrodactyly (which means they are missing fingers (or toes, but it’s fingers that are the issue here), or people who claimed to be speaking out for them, got bent out of…Continue readingGive Them The Finger(s)
I sought God. The Devil answered me. My personal Devil. I could tell, the last night before the change came over me. I could feel the beast inside me awake and stirring, stretching itself, raking claws down the inner walls of my soul. I knew that the following night the moon would reach sufficient fullness.…Continue readingTHE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF Part 50
No, I don’t mean the movie of that title, the one we were supposed to have seen already had the coronavirus pandemic not led to the movie being postponed an entire year. I’m referring to the score I made at Spirit Halloween this year. I’ve never been a Black Friday shopper. In fact I actively…Continue readingHALLOWEEN Kills
People buy books based on the covers. That’s a statistical fact. That isn’t the only criteria, no, but it’s one of them. I have never purchased a book solely because it had a snazzy cover, but I’ve picked them up for that reason, and read the back, and, if it had an intriguing premise and…Continue readingHUNTER HUNTER: Attention Snagged
IFC Midnight will be handling distribution in the United States for the Canuck shocker OUT COME THE WOLVES from director Adam MacDonald. Filming is set to begin in the summer next year. Wow, they’re this far out and already have IFC onboard. Good for them. Here’s the official pitch for the flick: “The story follows…Continue readingOUT COME THE WOLVES Promises, um, Wolves
I don’t know about this one. On the one hand, Peele has made it his specialty crafting quality Horror cinema centered around black characters and black issues, and THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS has both. There’s all this subtext about gentrification, greed, and class warfare that Wes Craven imbued into the original film. Peele could…Continue readingJordan Peele Remaking THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS
I drank the wine, for in truth my head ached to the point of misery, but I did not eat the food. Nor did I eat anything when servants came, escorted by guards, to exchange my still-filled plates for fresh ones. I let the food go cold. Nor did I, as Selene had suggested, rest.…Continue readingTHE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF Part 49
Working on a separate article this week got me to chasing down this particular rabbit again. Specifically, when did the full moon appear as a common trope in werewolf mythology? I’ve written on the subject before, and I recall that the facts are shadowy; it’s impossible to say for sure when the trope first appeared…Continue readingWhence the Full Moon? Part One
I chanced across this linked article, “Werewolves: 7 Strange Facts About These Mythical Creatures”. This could be fun. I like to, any time I encounter some article on werewolves or vampires or the like, check to see just how accurate they are—because lots of times, they aren’t. If I had a nickel for every time…Continue readingFact-checking Strange Facts
This comes to us from not the most credible of news sites, so I can’t swear to its veracity, but I expect it’s fairly accurate. They’ve found some bones in China—human bones, although a different species from those of us alive today—bearing bite marks. Human bite marks, although from a different…yeah, you got that part…Continue readingGnawing on Bones
Well, here’s your weekly dose of dumbassery. This nonsense comes from Eric Kripke, who is the showrunner for the Amazon television series THE BOYS. Here’s what he had to say: “Not to overstate it or be overdramatic, but it’s a little dangerous to train an entire generation to wait for someone strong to come in…Continue readingThe Power of the Metaphorical
Concerning the demon Valek from THE CONJURING 2, here’s what James Wan posted on his Instagram account this past week: “Here’s my first design of the demonic entity haunting the family and Lorraine. Aaron Sims (concept designer) and myself took inspiration from our Dracula design for a movie I was attached to a long time…Continue readingThe Demon That Might Have Been
The next day they transferred me from my cell beneath the arena to another. I cannot say to where they took me because I had made an attempt (useless, and I had known it would prove so, but born of desperation) at escape, and one of the guards had struck me across the head with…Continue readingTHE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF Part 48
This past weekend, I caught Stanley Kubrick’s THE SHINING at the theater for the first time. The fact that I refer to it as “Kubrick’s” and not as “Stephen King’s” is likely why Stephen King doesn’t care for the film. The movie is probably even more Stanley Kubrick’s creation than it is Stephen King’s. So…Continue readingRedrum and the Red Room
It makes for a poignant picture. A woman, carrying a small child, through a wilderness rife with dangerous beasts, the kind that could easily kill a human being. Animals like sabertooths and giant sloths. The latter could shred a human almost as an afterthought. They’re freakin’ huge, and they’ve got freakin’ monster claws. But they…Continue readingFootprints in the Sand
I saw this meme the other day on social media all about how you shouldn’t dress up like this or that because it’s not politically correct. It immediately engaged my eyeroll response. The thing is, I do agree with the concept, as a good general rule. What political correctness used to mean was, don’t be…Continue readingPC Werewolves
To celebrate the return to grocery store shelves of Frankenberry, Boo Berry, and Count Chocula this Halloween season, General Mills contracted with sculptor Karlee Morse for her to create three busts, one of each of the three most famous monsters. (Ahem…where the hell is Fruit Brute?!) From the quote by Morse, from the linked article:…Continue readingMonster Cereals, Busted
Watching THE SHINING again this past weekend, in my local theater, it really hit home with me how much of a factor isolation plays in the narrative. Had he not been cut off from civilization, it’s doubtful Jack Torrance would have been so susceptible to the Overlook’s influence. It’s doubtful that he would have snapped.…Continue readingTHE SHINING and The Wendigo
The Gamesmaster came to see me, giddy, so pleased he felt with himself and with me, his new celebrity fighter. “Splendid! Magnificent!” he crowed. “Better than I could have hoped! And, oh, the moon is full next week! How much stronger will you become then, my pet? How much more fearsome!” “What will you have…Continue readingTHE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF Part 47
As much press as I’m giving this movie, they ought’a put me on their payroll. (No, just to be clear, I’m not getting paid to pimp their movie, or any movie. Not that I wouldn’t be willing to do it. I mean, I wouldn’t lie. If I thought a movie sucked I wouldn’t say that…Continue readingTHE WOLF OF SNOW HOLLOW Attacks
Well, this movie did NOT open in any theaters around my geographic base this past weekend. I would’ve been a lot more pissed than I was had I not read that it was supposed to be a limited release. There’s still hope it’ll make its way to my neck of the woods. In the meantime,…Continue readingAbout THE WOLF OF SNOW HOLLOW
I will freely admit that I am, according to some, a pessimist. I would argue that I am a realist as opposed to a pessimist, but I for dang sure can’t be accused by anyone who knows me of being an optimist. Instead of a “glass half-full” kinda guy I’m a “Who the hell drank…Continue readingLook on the Bright Side
I was reading this here linked article about a man’s disappearance in the woods four years ago. Maybe it goes to show that I spend too much time researching things unexplained and of the paranormal variety, or that I’m all too aware of the phenomena of people disappearing in the woods without any credible explanation.…Continue readingThe Missing
A priest got arrested because he was having a ménage à trois on the altar of the church where he served as the rector. I say “served” past-tense because they not surprisingly fired his ass and stripped him of his collar. (I wonder if he was wearing the collar while engaging in the act. He…Continue readingYou Want Demons? ‘Cause That’s How You Get Demons!
This year I have become addicted to the Halloween-themed shows on the Food Network, shows like HALLOWEEN WARS and HALLOWEEN BAKING CHAMPIONSHIP. If you take the Horror spin away, I wouldn’t and couldn’t possibly care any less about a cooking show of any kind, but there’s something about the haunted holiday aesthetic that makes it…Continue readingDelectable Edible Werewolves
This past weekend, I once again got to experience THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK in the theater. It’s always magical, and, as there were only two other people in the auditorium and they were seated way across the room, I honestly don’t see how it could have been much safer for me, in terms of possible…Continue readingIs the Wampa a Sheepsquatch?
Is it a carryover of our lineage, harkening back to Adam our progenitor, that we mortal men carry within ourselves such an instinctive, primal fear of and loathing for the reptile? No other predator, no matter how large and fierce, chills us so in the marrow as does the serpent and its kindred. I do…Continue readingTHE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF Part 46
I don’t wear pajamas. Never have. A few times as a kid, when my mom would insist I put some on, but even then I’d wake up in the middle of the night uncomfortable and take them off. Pajamas were for back in the days when bedrooms got cold at night, when fires in fireplaces…Continue readingCakeworthy is Worthy of Universal Monsters
Expect to be hearing a lot about this one, right up until the time that I do or don’t get to see it, depending on whether or not the theaters in my part of the world choose to show it or not. It’s a new movie, it’s opening in theaters right now (hopefully ones around…Continue readingWatch this Clip from THE WOLF OF SNOW HOLLOW
I’m still not certain how the Science of it works. My understanding—and granted I am no geneticist—is that hybrids are sterile. Animals born of the breeding of two different species cannot reproduce. But it appears our Cro-Magnon ancestors could and did interbreed with Neanderthals, because the Neanderthals were our ancestors too, a little bit. Most…Continue readingGot Covid? Blame Neanderthals.
Regal Cinemas, the second largest theater chain in America, the American branch of the company Cineworld, has decided to close all its theaters worldwide until 2021. This doesn’t affect me so much, since they’d never opened up any of the theaters they own in my part of the world to begin with, but it’s bad…Continue readingMovies. Where be da Movies?
I could not help, as much as Roman society and its debaucheries disgusted me, being impressed with the Romans’ ingenuity, even when that ingenuity they applied towards killing. A civilization is judged by the barbarity of its entertainments. History then must pronounce a severe condemnation on the Roman race. Yet their architecture, their arts were…Continue readingTHE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF Part 45
First, the official synopsis, aka the spiel: “Paul lives an isolated life with his father in upstate New York. He finds making friends impossible due to a rare condition he has known as congenital hypertrichosis–an affliction that causes an abnormal amount of hair growth all over his face and body. On his 13th birthday, Paul…Continue readingLooking for THE TRUE ADVENTURES OF WOLFBOY
Well, why not? A better question would be, why is FROST BITE shooting for a summer 2021 release instead of waiting to release at Christmas? Especially since Director Airell Hayles said: “I love Christmas [H]orror movies, and to work with this cast on such a crazy story really is another nightmare come true…” Christmas Horror…Continue readingSanta is a Werewolf
The forthcoming film BLOOD “follows Jess (Michelle Monaghan of TRUE DETECTIVE and MESSIAH, as well as the perhaps unwise upcoming remake of THE CRAFT), a separated mother and nurse who moves with her daughter and young son Owen back into her old family farmhouse. Shortly after settling in, Owen is bitten by the family dog,…Continue readingWill BLOOD have Bite?
