Bigfoot is Missing!

According to police reports, someone stole Bigfoot—or a concrete version of him—from his home in front of Mattress Monsterz in Boynton Beach, in southern Florida. Considering that the statue would have weighed over 300 pounds, stealing it took some determination. Unless the statue came to life and walked off all on its own. Or maybe Bigfoot, the real Bigfoot, happened by and either liked the statue so much he wanted it, or he felt insulted by it and chose to go dump it in some swamp somewhere. He could easily throw such a statue over his shoulder and carry it away with him. If it *was* Bigfoot who took the statue, lotsa luck to the coppers in getting it back. Nobody has ever been able to find the big hairy guy before.

Boynton Beach isn’t too far, relatively speaking, from the Skunk Ape Research Headquarters down in the Everglades. Maybe the Boynton Beach Police Department could ask them for assistance? (Faithful readers may recall that I have visited the Skunk Ape Research Headquarters myself. Read all about it here.)

It does appear that the words “Skunk Ape” have now been combined into a single word, “Skunkape.” I’m fine with this, as I generally prefer such contractions. But on the sign when I visited the HQ it was hyphenated. “Skunk-Ape.” We need to establish some consistency, here, to avoid confusion. From thenceforth, on this site, at least, I will use the term “Skunkape.” Even if my computer’s spellcheck says it isn’t a real word.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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