An American Neanderthal in California

There’s a new kerfluffle going down in the scientific community. They found some mastodon bones out in California, right? And those bones bear clear signs of having been butchered. That is, the animal that the bones belonged to was butchered, in all likelihood so that it could then be eaten in convenient pieces. Imagine trying to swallow a mastodon whole. Ain’t happening, is it? Okay, technically, the beast wasn’t so much butchered, as butchery implies cutting; the bones were smashed with rocks in order to get at the marrow inside. The point being, the mastodon didn’t do this to itself, nor could any animal have done it. One of the mastodon’s tusks was even stuck in the ground in a vertical position, as if symbolically. The site dates back to some 130,000 years ago.

See the problem here? Those of you scientifically and historically-minded probably do. Human beings weren’t supposed to have arrived in the New World until some 15,000 years ago (despite the discovery of some sites that are nearly possibly twice as old). Who then did this bone-smashing and mastodon eating? Neanderthals. Or possibly Denisovians. Or some other, as yet unidentified, branch of the human evolutionary tree. Not US, is the point to take away from all this. If the study proves correct—and look for it to be largely discredited by the mainstream in the coming months, as all such evidence failing to fit into the established theory is always dismissed—then that means that our hairier, more brutish relatives were in North America a LONG time before we were.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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