A Plea to Warner Brothers: We Need More TARZAN
Has it been a year already? Man, sometimes I can’t believe how quickly the ol’ tempus fugits. I wish it would slow down. I’d love for time to pass as slowly in the summertime now as it did in the summers of my childhood, back when I was a kid in school, like cool molasses. These days, summer streaks by like greased goose shit. *sigh* Moving on, it’s been a year since the release of THE LEGEND OF TARZAN. The movie surprised all the “insiders” and the “experts” by being a hit when they’d all predicted a flop. The movie made a load of money. Problem is, it cost a load of money to make, just short of $200 million. As a result, it’s perched right on the line of getting a sequel or not getting a sequel. I want to urge Warner Brothers, again, to give us that sequel.
THE LEGEND OF TARZAN was a phenomenal film. That’s a fact. But what about that Rotten Tomatoes score, you ask? Let me encourage you all to read those “bad” reviews. There is not one critic who bashed the movie who didn’t have a political axe to grind, who didn’t object to the film because it isn’t PC these days to have a white hero helping out black people. Not one of those reviews is fair and unbiased. Don’t take my word for it; check for yourselves. And anyone who thought Alexander Skarsgard’s performance was too stoic, too “wooden,” has obviously never cracked the cover of any of the Edgar Rice Burroughs novels that inspired the film. There is no film I can think of in which prejudice and ignorance played such a part in its final RT score.
On this, the anniversary of its release, I seek your help, my faithful. Please invest the cost of a stamp and write to the head of Warner Brothers, telling him we want a sequel to LOT. Don’t let PC culture dictate your entertainment choices. As William Wallace would say, “Freedom!!!”
Here’s the dude’s address:
Chairman and Chief Executive Officer
4000 Warner Boulevard
Burbank, CA. 91522
Tell him you want more Tarzan. Tell him the Cheezman sent you. Danke.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!