Now I have the song “Red Skies at Night” from The Fixx stuck in my head, only instead of those words I’m hearing “Cave bear on ice! Cave bear on ice! Whoah oh oh oh oh oh oh!” Yes, it’s a weird place inside my head. Our ancestors had a hard go, if you think…Continue readingCave Bear on Ice
“You will fight,” the Gamesmaster had promised me. Fool that I was, to consider that it could have been otherwise! The Romans knew as much about my condition as I did, and more. Already they knew the lesson of silver and the power it held over one of my kind. They also knew, as I…Continue readingTHE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF Part 43
I put the question to Eddie, the docent at the South Carolina Cotton Museum on the day of my visit. Does he believe the Lizardman is real, or is it all just a big hoax? With a smile, he told me about the automobiles that were damaged back during the Lizardman’s reign of not-so-terrifying-terror in…Continue readingLizardman: Is It For Real? Part Four: Taking It to the Grave
As skeptics have supposedly found holes in the account made by 17-year-old Christopher Davis, who was attacked—well, his car was—by Lizardman, so too have those who looked at it with a critical eye been able to poke some holes in the admission of Brother Elmore that it was he who scared Davis on the night…Continue readingLizardman: Is It For Real? Part Three: Fake Footprints?
The only reported incident where the Lizard Man attempted to attack a human being occurred in 1988, when a 17-year-old named Christopher Davis, driving home from work late at night down Browntown Road, had a blowout near the butterbean drying shed owned by local farmer “Brother” Elmore. After stopping to fix the tire, Davis said:…Continue readingLizardman: Is It For Real? Part Two: The Butterbean Shed
Forgive me, friends, but I just got back from Bishopville, South Carolina and I still have Lizardman on the brain. I got tons of material during my trip to serve as fodder for articles on this site, and I aim to make use of it all. Also it lets me mentally revisit my recent escapades,…Continue readingLizardman: Is It For Real? Part One
Beyond Caesar’s absent and distracted influence, I encountered there in the hallway of that building a much more personal, more involved evil. No taller than the Emperor, but younger and leaner, the second man clad in the robes of a politician had the look of a mongrel dog starved to the point of death and…Continue readingTHE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF Part 42
Whatever expectations I might have entertained about the Emperor, and in truth I had given it little thought, I found myself underwhelmed by the reality. I had heard little more about Decius than his name, and this brought to my ears by an oarsman of a trade vessel who had chosen to cast his lot…Continue readingTHE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF Part 41
Now they paraded me down the streets for all the populace to gaze upon. I recalled the story I had heard from the Christians among whom I had grown up, of Caesar bringing the captive Gaul, Vercigenteroux, home to Rome in a cage, exhibiting him in just such a spectacle. I wondered, had the Gaul…Continue readingTHE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF Part 40
Here is the map of all the Lizardman sightings from the late 80s, followed by photographs I took at as many of the actual locations as I could find. The Lizardman Burger on the menu at Harry and Harry Too is not made from real Lizardman, but it’s so delicious that I wanted to take…Continue readingLocating Lonely, Lovely Lizardman Locations
If you’re ever passing through Bishopville, South Carolina, a visit to the South Carolina Cotton Museum is mandatory. Naturally I sought the place out because of Lizardman, who is the unofficial star of the place and the mascot of the entire town, but the place is chockfull of interesting stuff, even for a born and…Continue readingA Trip to Lizardman Country: That Cotton-Pickin’ Lizardman
This is a restaurant, owned by a father and son, hence the name of the place. It was only open for lunch on the day I visited, but I’m sure glad I made it in for a meal. The Lizardman Burger was, I kid you not, one of the best burgers I’ve ever eaten, and…Continue readingA Trip to Lizardman Country: Harry and Harry Too
While traveling recently, I did what I always do, searching Roadside America or Atlas Obscura for things strange or unusual to visit in the area through which I was to be passing. That’s how I learned about Apple Valley Hillbilly Gardens in western Kentucky. This attraction, a folk-art installation and open-air museum (along with Toyland,…Continue readingThe ABC of Hillbilly Gardens
Another road trip, this one to Bishopville, South Carolina and the vicinity of Scape Ore Swamp, in search of the legendary Lizardman! I want to give a shout out and a word of thanks to the proprietor of the Facebook site “Lizardman of Lee County—Robert Howell’s Lizardman Lounge” (do yourself a favor and look him…Continue readingA Trip to Lizardman Country
It’s just like with the original Universal film THE WOLF MAN. The title has with time been altered, by some people, anyway. “Wolf” and “Man” are combined. This makes for the more grammatically correct and aesthetically pleasing THE WOLFMAN. When Universal remade the classic werewolf yarn a few years back they corrected themselves and released…Continue readingRenaming Lizard Man
Like so many things in America with colorful names, there is no concrete answer in regards to its origin. This is because the name dates back to Colonial Times, when records for such things weren’t maintained with all that much care or accuracy. Different stories are in agreement that the name is a contraction of…Continue readingHow did Scape Ore Swamp Get Its Name?
Yes, that Jimmy Stewart. And yes, that Yeti. Okay, so there was this mummified hand in the Pangboche monastery in Tibet. The monks there said that it came from a dead Yeti that had been discovered by one of their order. Tom Slick, an oil tycoon (that’s appropriate) organized an expedition in 1957 to go…Continue readingJimmy Stewart and the Yeti
There’s this 80s Rom-Com called RHINESTONE starring Dolly Parton and Sylvester Stallone. I just so happened to catch it on the telly one weekend afternoon when I had the box on for background noise. It’s abysmal, but also a little endearing. Sly is so bad in it that he’s adorable. The plot involves Dolly, a…Continue readingBrickenstein!
After the tragic loss of Chadwick Boseman, it seems everybody is calling for the Black Panther’s little sister Shuri to assume the role for future films. Here is an eloquent, well-reasoned argument—from Jason Johnson, professor of Politics and Journalism at Morgan State University, who is a black man—on why she shouldn’t. “The Black Panther is…Continue readingWho Should be the Next Black Panther?
Concerning the effects the metal would have on me, I should have suspected, at that. Or more to the point, I already knew that silver, pure silver, held some quality disagreeable to me. I had at times laid hands on silver coins, booty taken from some fat merchantman during my career as captain of the…Continue readingTHE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF Part 39
There’s more than one connection, actually. For one thing, both are American classics and legends of the genre. Both are also based on true stories. But if we get a little more specific with it, certain events dramatized in one of the films, the one starring the Fouke Monster, actually happened in both real-life incidents.…Continue readingThe GREMLINS/THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK Connection
There are those who are claiming that, spurred on by the pandemic, livestreaming will finally kill the movie-going experience. People will not go to theaters, they say, when it’s so easy to stay at home and watch movies in your own living rooms. Horse and shit. Don’t believe a word of that. Those who do…Continue readingLivestreaming and the “Death” of the Theater
For a few years, I’ve sported a big handlebar moustache, which I waxed heavily and curled into a genuine Old Western B-movie villain mustache. It got me lots of compliments, and I’d get told that I looked like the videogame character Wario, or Snidely Whiplash, or Ming the Merciless. Or Anton LaVey, although I don’t…Continue readingThe Hodag Mask
According to local lore, there have been 68 deaths to take place on Jack Cole Road, which has been called the most haunted roadway in the State, located outside the small town of Hayden in Blount County, Alabama. Most of these came as the result of a cholera outbreak around the turn of the last…Continue readingThe Dogman of Alabama