Chaney fell, the asphalt tearing into her bare knees. She scrambled to her feet. From a white clapboard house just ahead and to her right, a woman and teenage boy stepped out onto their front porch. “Get back inside!” Chaney shouted. The woman on the porch shrieked, pulling the boy back through the screen door.…
Month: April 2019
The Sizzlin’ Summer Horror Schedule
Other sites are starting to put out their lists of movies for genre fans to look forward to this summer, so I reckon I’ll weigh-in. It’s going to be a busy, busy summer at the cinemaplex, that’s for sure. (We’ll talk about all the stuff coming out on video later.) We’ll begin with BRIGHTBURN on…
Dinner with Frankenstein
If a place is called “Aretha Frankenstein’s”, you have some idea as to what to expect, in terms of décor if nothing else. You also have a better-than-good guarantee that I will seek this place out, if I happen to be in the neighborhood. Last week I was traveling, and as I always do when…
Badass Beast
Its name was SIMBAKUBWA KUTOKAAFRIKA. And it was Scary. As. F#ck. All that is required is a little imagination. Picture yourself alone, outside somewhere. Out camping maybe. Or hunting. Or maybe you were in a small-engine aircraft that had to make an emergency landing out on the veldt. You are unarmed, and to survive requires…
The Head of the Beast
I made a return trip to Chattanooga Ghost Tours this past week, and it was still there. The head of the infamous Sugar Flats Road Monster. Or actually it wasn’t, as the real head has disappeared. It used to be on display at the offices of Chattanooga Ghost Tours, but today there is only a…
THERIOPHOBIA: FEAR THE BEAST Part 45
Roosevelt couldn’t look at the needle. True, he scarce felt it when the young nurse slipped it into the vein at the bend of his elbow, but the mere thought of it made him queasy. So instead he looked across the street at a clown offering balloons to little children, at the SEED-N-FEED store’s exhibition…
WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS: The Werewolves
I’m gonna take it as a given that you’re all watching this show. (And if you aren’t, you dang sure oughta be!) I never understood shows like TALKING DEAD. Fan shows. Like, why would you want to watch people sit and talk about a show that you’ve already watched? But I’m gonna indulge in a…
A New “Hobbit”
First they discovered the “Hobbit,” HOMO FLORESIENSIS, the diminutive, reportedly cannibalistic cousin of HOMO SAPIENS, on the island of Flores in Indonesia in 2004. The “Hobbit”, you may recall, starred in the faux-documentary THE CANNIBAL IN THE JUNGLE on Animal Planet back in 2015. Actually we’re not supposed to refer to them as Hobbits anymore,…
Back to the 80s!
It would be just fine with me if we could go back to the 80s. I’m sorta like Uncle Rico from NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (only not as sad, I hope), longing to return to the glorious days of 1982 (or any of the other years of the decade; unlike Uncle Rico, I was just a wee…
The Devil Did In Jayne Mansfield!
First the facts: Jayne Mansfield died in a car wreck outside New Orleans in 1967 at age 34. The legend: Mansfield had started an affair with Anton LaVey, founder of the Church of Satan. When she dumped him, he put a curse on her, resulting in her death in that wreck. Alternately, Mansfield attended a…