Month: April 2019

Chaney fell, the asphalt tearing into her bare knees. She scrambled to her feet. From a white clapboard house just ahead and to her right, a woman and teenage boy stepped out onto their front porch. “Get back inside!” Chaney shouted. The woman on the porch shrieked, pulling the boy back through the screen door.…Continue readingTHERIOPHOBIA: FEAR THE BEAST Part 46

Other sites are starting to put out their lists of movies for genre fans to look forward to this summer, so I reckon I’ll weigh-in. It’s going to be a busy, busy summer at the cinemaplex, that’s for sure. (We’ll talk about all the stuff coming out on video later.) We’ll begin with BRIGHTBURN on…Continue readingThe Sizzlin’ Summer Horror Schedule

If a place is called “Aretha Frankenstein’s”, you have some idea as to what to expect, in terms of décor if nothing else. You also have a better-than-good guarantee that I will seek this place out, if I happen to be in the neighborhood. Last week I was traveling, and as I always do when…Continue readingDinner with Frankenstein

Its name was SIMBAKUBWA KUTOKAAFRIKA. And it was Scary. As. F#ck. All that is required is a little imagination. Picture yourself alone, outside somewhere. Out camping maybe. Or hunting. Or maybe you were in a small-engine aircraft that had to make an emergency landing out on the veldt. You are unarmed, and to survive requires…Continue readingBadass Beast

I made a return trip to Chattanooga Ghost Tours this past week, and it was still there. The head of the infamous Sugar Flats Road Monster. Or actually it wasn’t, as the real head has disappeared. It used to be on display at the offices of Chattanooga Ghost Tours, but today there is only a…Continue readingThe Head of the Beast

Roosevelt couldn’t look at the needle. True, he scarce felt it when the young nurse slipped it into the vein at the bend of his elbow, but the mere thought of it made him queasy. So instead he looked across the street at a clown offering balloons to little children, at the SEED-N-FEED store’s exhibition…Continue readingTHERIOPHOBIA: FEAR THE BEAST Part 45

I’m gonna take it as a given that you’re all watching this show. (And if you aren’t, you dang sure oughta be!) I never understood shows like TALKING DEAD. Fan shows. Like, why would you want to watch people sit and talk about a show that you’ve already watched? But I’m gonna indulge in a…Continue readingWHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS: The Werewolves

First they discovered the “Hobbit,” HOMO FLORESIENSIS, the diminutive, reportedly cannibalistic cousin of HOMO SAPIENS, on the island of Flores in Indonesia in 2004. The “Hobbit”, you may recall, starred in the faux-documentary THE CANNIBAL IN THE JUNGLE on Animal Planet back in 2015. Actually we’re not supposed to refer to them as Hobbits anymore,…Continue readingA New “Hobbit”

It would be just fine with me if we could go back to the 80s. I’m sorta like Uncle Rico from NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (only not as sad, I hope), longing to return to the glorious days of 1982 (or any of the other years of the decade; unlike Uncle Rico, I was just a wee…Continue readingBack to the 80s!

First the facts: Jayne Mansfield died in a car wreck outside New Orleans in 1967 at age 34. The legend: Mansfield had started an affair with Anton LaVey, founder of the Church of Satan. When she dumped him, he put a curse on her, resulting in her death in that wreck. Alternately, Mansfield attended a…Continue readingThe Devil Did In Jayne Mansfield!

Pay attention, as this one can get a tad labyrinthine. (Not really. I just wanted to take advantage of an opportunity to use the word “labyrinthine.”) There’s an old house located in Fond du Lac County, Wisconsin. (Fon du Lac? Does that translate into “Fondue Lake” in French or something? Or does it mean “fond…Continue readingThe Witherell House, the Seventh Son, and Jeffery Dahmer

Apparently *not* having any interest in GAME OF THRONES is a thing now? Like, it has become so fashionable as to be ridiculed on social media? Have you seen the memes, with a picture of Lena Headey, saying something along the lines of “two more weeks until people who don’t watch GAME OF THRONES have…Continue readingOn Direwolves

Who’d win in a fight? I know this is a site dedicated to werewolves, where we love werewolves and all manner of similar beasties, and I should be rooting for the Dogman. I have to be honest, though. I think a Bigfoot would clobber a Dogman. Why? Size matters. If we’re talking about the stereotypical…Continue readingBigfoot Vs. Dogman

The debut episode of this new series from Travel Channel served as a good introduction to the phenomenon of Bigfoot for the novices out there. It covered all the bases. Is Bigfoot a relic hominid, like Gigantopithecus? Do Bigfeet live underground? Is Bigfoot really an alien? There were some credible individuals featured in the program,…Continue readingThoughts on IN SEARCH OF MONSTERS: BIGFOOT

I remember back in the day I saw this episode of Phil Donahue—I know I’m telling my age here, but I *was* just a wee bairn at the time—and they were showcasing adults who fetishize acting like infants. Grown men, all hairy and fat, wearing diapers, lying on the floor kicking and screaming and flailing…Continue readingThe Human Puppy

This one is getting lambasted by the critics, but you can’t put any stock in that. Commoner critics have no business reviewing genre movies. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times. Ignore all the rest, then, and listen to a relevant opinion: mine. :) I love Guillermo del Toro and I…Continue readingMovie Review: HELLBOY

We got to *hear* it. Shuffling around in the woods. We even got to hear it howl once. And there was a picture of it in the book that John Lithgow’s character showed to his neighbor. But I was a tad disappointed that we never got to see the Wendigo in the flesh in the…Continue readingPET SEMATARY: Where’s the Wendigo?

Church the cat, that is. Churches, plural, for cats, plural. Which one did you think was scarier? The blue fluffy undead cat from the 1989 original PET SEMATARY or the Maine Coon from the new one? I loved both of them, but I think the original has the edge in the creepiness factor. Something about…Continue readingDueling Churches

Chaney heard screaming. She turned, almost colliding with a young couple as they ran past. Everyone seemed to be looking in the direction from which the two youths came, people shielding their eyes from the glare of the streetlights, standing on tiptoes to try and see over the heads of the crowd. “What’s going on?”…Continue readingTHERIOPHOBIA: FEAR THE BEAST Part 44

I’m not that big of a musical fan, despite being a Theatre geek. The few that I do love have some connection to the Crime or Horror genres. I liked CHICAGO. I dig the PHANTOM OF THE OPERA and LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS. And I love JEKYLL AND HYDE. The rest of them, for the…Continue readingJEKYLL AND HYDE Getting a Movie

Studies like this one are most interesting to me. It postulates that human beings living in the First World like to keep their homes at the temperatures and levels of humidity that most closely approximate the climate of the African Savannah. Specifically, the temperature and low humidity come closest to matching those conditions in western…Continue readingWe Still Love Our Wilderness

Considering just how successful it was both economically and critically, we knew almost immediately after its release that A QUIET PLACE would be getting a sequel. John Krasinski will return to write and direct, but he won’t be able to appear in the movie, as you can well understand if you’ve seen it. His character…Continue readingCillian Murphy moving to A QUIET PLACE?

We all know that Ed Gein was from Wisconsin. He’s as immediately identifiable with the Badger State as are the Great Lakes, the Wisconsin Dells, beer and cheese. I’m sure there are those in the Wisconsin department of tourism who would prefer it if this was not so, but like it or not, ol’ Ed…Continue readingCannibal Sammich!

Roosevelt had helped Mathilda carry her burden from the house to the waiting taxicab. Now, as she climbed from the stale interior of the automobile out into the hot, wet night, she would have to carry it alone. With care, she unloaded her basket and three plastic grocery bags and set them at her feet.…Continue readingTHERIOPHOBIA: FEAR THE BEAST Part 43