Finally. We waited sixteen episodes for it. Sixteen weeks. We endured an agonizingly slow narrative progression–by design, lest anyone doubt it. And it was all worth it. The big payoff came this week. He’s back. He’s awake. Agent Cooper is back. And he’s on his way to Twin Peaks to confront his Doppelganger. I swear,…Continue readingReview: TWIN PEAKS Season Three Episode Sixteen
I love things cute and collectible. When I was much younger and a horn-dog, I would have classified girls in this category. I’ve matured since then and know better. Women must be treated with respect! Also, I was never any good at being a “playa,” though it wasn’t for lack of trying. ANYway. Things cute…Continue readingWolfman Tiki
If you’re reading this and you’re not dead, you should be thankful. As of the typing of this article, the solar eclipse of 2017 has just passed. Did you see anyone being slaughtered by a Lizard person? No? Surely somebody out there did. We were supposed to be lousy with ’em, once the sun got…Continue readingLizard People of the Great Eclipse
Remember when Funko released its STRANGER THINGS figures, and I complained about the figures that were missing? Where’s the Sheriff? I lamented. Remember how I said that there’d be a second wave of collectibles soon, and that the Sheriff would be amongst them? Called it! Not only are there going to be the standard Funko…Continue readingSTRANGER THINGS – More FUNKOs!
Lots of Bigfoot in the news this week. Granted, a couple of the pieces I came across are not exactly “news”, as they occurred some time ago; one of them happened a LONG time ago. But I only came upon the reports this past week, as part of my research, my seeking of material to…Continue readingTwo Massacres That Never Happened
Remember last week’s post, “Don’t shoot Sasquatch”? Sure you do. It chronicled how police in North Carolina had released a statement directing residents not to open fire on the hairy hominid after sightings were reported. Turns out it’s a good thing nobody started shooting. They might not have been shooting at Bigfoot after all. They…Continue reading“Don’t shoot, I’m NOT Bigfoot!”
Please be aware that this is not a “worst movie ever made” in the way that Ed Wood’s PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE is called “the worst movie ever made.” Wood’s film is magical. It is so much fun, so entertaining, and from opening credits to end it is obviously the work of a passionate…Continue readingThe Worst Werewolf Movie Ever Made
I’m starting to get sad, as we draw closer to the finale of the season, yet I remain hopeful–nay, I doubt it not at all!–that there WILL be a season four–and that we WON’T have to wait another 25 years for it! Having acclimated to the deliberate, methodical pacing of this season, I no longer…Continue readingTWIN PEAKS Episode Recap 8-20-17
(First off, “affect” is a verb; “effect” is a noun. I see people get this one wrong frequently. Pardon my inner grammar nazi.) The “fact” that a full moon triggers a person’s transformation into a werewolf is a neat bit of canon that was largely made up by Hollywood; the influence of screenwriter Curt Siodmak,…Continue readingHow Would an Eclipse Affect a Werewolf?
Subtitled “revenge of the Werewolf Queen,” this series is written by Micky Neilson, author of the magnificent novel THE TURNING and its sequel. Issue number one of the series scored a home run with me. Did the follow-up issue suffer from the “sophomore curse,” or did it maintain the level of excellence established by the…Continue readingReview: THE HOWLING the Comic Book, Issue 2
They’re Still Out There! The Satanic Panic-ers of the 80s all had children, and those children grew up to follow in their parents’ imbecilic footsteps. Did you know that if you are letting your kid watch Disney’s DESCENDANTS movie series you are endangering their precious little souls? (Sure you are.) Because the films are pure…Continue readingThe Devil Made ‘Em Do It Again!
I know it seems that every week I write about how things “are all coming together,” and then the next week there’s some Lynchian acid trip that takes us off in an entirely new direction, but this week there really WAS some of that “coming together” of the major storylines. We found out that Diane…Continue readingTWIN PEAKS Episode Recap 8-13-17
The above headline is one of those simple statements the meaning of which can be totally altered by adding a comma. Add one after “don’t” and you are in fact telling the person to whom you are speaking to shoot Bigfoot and not do something else. Add the comma after “shoot” and the implication is…Continue readingDon’t shoot Sasquatch!
One might think that the coming of the Internet would have stamped out the phenomenon of the urban legend. With the sum total of all knowledge, covering the sum total of human existence and the entire history of the universe, as much as it is known, literally right at out fingertips, surely ignorance would find…Continue readingSatanic Panic at Outback Steakhouse
I posted a few weeks back about the one anachronism I spotted in the hit Netflix series STRANGER THINGS–the use of VCRs by characters in a setting, the year 1983, before VCRs were in common use–but for the most part their 80s aesthetic is flawless. In order to keep that sense of time and place…Continue readingSTRANGER THINGS and the Copyright Monster
Okay, here’s the situation. I heard that old song (and considering it came out my junior year in high school, it really hurts me to call it an “old” song) “Parents Just Don’t Understand” by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince (I will remind you all that this was the pseudonym of Will Smith,…Continue readingABC Chases Hikers
“The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley.” Aka, “The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” Everybody’s heard the quote, but did you know where it comes from? It’s from the poem “To a Mouse, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest With the Plough, November, 1785” written by…Continue readingIs DARK UNIVERSE dead in the water?
I’m starting to suspect that the sadist David Lynch really is going to make us wait until the final episode of the season–we’re only five away (insert sadface emoji here)–to get Agent Cooper back, and to get the answers to what’s going on. Not that we’re going to get ALL the answers, but I expect…Continue readingReview: TWIN PEAKS Episode 8-6-17
Think of me like a drug dealer. They give you your first hit for free, because they want you to like it. They know you’ll come back for more. Then they can start charging you for it. That’s what I’m doing. I’m going to give you some of my new novel THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT…Continue readingBait
And more importantly, how did he say it? Now we know! We not only know what your typical Neanderthal would have looked like–see picture above–but what they would have SOUNDED like! (We can probably imagine what they would have SMELLED like without too much effort.) An examination of the remains of a Neanderthal man and…Continue readingWhat Did The Neanderthal Say?
SPOILER WARNING if you haven’t read it! Nuh-uh, now! I don’t like that one bit! You CANNOT kill off Sir Malcolm! Yes, I do realize this is the PENNY DREADFUL universe, where dead doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I’m not gonna panic then, despite ominous signs that this may be for real, like having the Mummy’s…Continue readingReview: PENNY DREADFUL The Comic Series Issue 4
This article gives all the credit to Netflix, but I don’t think that’s quite proper. It is STRANGER THINGS that deserves the credit, if indeed there is credit to bestow. Netflix couldn’t do jack on its own. STRANGER THINGS is the phenomenon. Netflix deserves credit for recognizing in the show the potential for a goldmine,…Continue readingSTRANGER THINGS killing movies?
Sightings galore this week! First off, people are seeing Chupacabras in California. One in the Riverside area tried to eat a cat. These Chupas seem to be of the four-legged variety, the kind usually dismissed as coyotes with a bad case of mange. Intriguingly, however, there do appear to be anatomical differences between Chupas of…Continue readingChupas and Thylacines