I know I’m in the minority, but I actually liked Stephen Sommers’s VAN HELSING movie, starring Hugh Jackman as the dashing vampire hunter. I appreciated it for what it was, a bit of cheesy fun. And it had Kate Beckinsale in it, which didn’t hurt. I was sorta disappointed that it never got a big…Continue readingVan Helsing: She’s All That
I’m that unfortunate sort of creature gifted with a passionate interest in the supernatural but burdened with an irritatingly rational mindset. I’m Mr. Spock if he were obsessed with ghosts and such, the perfect example of a cognitive dissonance. As much as I WANT there to be things that go bump in the night—what a…Continue readingHypno-Exorcism
Movie director Victor Salva is a convicted pedophile. He abused a young actor on one of his movies. Yet I absolutely loved his film JEEPERS CREEPERS. Is that wrong? I did struggle with the question, ultimately deciding that, as a great many people worked hard on that movie, it was okay for me to appreciate…Continue readingShould we burn Lovecraft?
If I were gonna visit Italy, sure I’d see the Coliseum, the Leaning Tower of Piza, the canals of Florence. But you can bet the Parco dei Mostri, or “Park of Monsters,” in the little hamlet of Bomarzo, about fifty miles north of Rome, would be at the top of my itinerary. Numerous large-scale, grotesque…Continue readingWelcome . . . to Monster Park!
Well, why not? Sure, it might sound a little silly, but so did WOLFCOP, and that one ended up being pure cinematic brilliance. Not that I’m certain HAIR OF THE DOG is supposed to be a comedy or parody. It’s described as “a new perspective on a classic tale by bringing a twist of horror…Continue readingHAIR OF THE DOG tells the story of an Alcoholic Werewolf
How up are you on your classic werewolf Art knowledge? That’s Art with a capital “A,” so you know we’re talking about the highfalutin stuff, the intellectual stuff. The kind of paintings and such you might find hanging in a museum as opposed to the latest postings on Deviantart. (Not that there’s anything wrong with…Continue readingWerewolf Art Appreciation
Each week I search the cobweb-shrouded, darkened corners of the Internet to bring to you, my loyal subjects, all the news and ephemera relating to that fearsome, chimerical beast known as the WEHR-WOLF. Sometimes, rather than risk regurgitation of topics covered before or repetition of the overly-familiar, the offerings I present bear only a tangential…Continue readingWerewolf Potpourri
I think we were all somewhat disappointed, if not disheartened, when we heard that Universal planned to revamp their classic monsters but offer movies that were more Action-Adventure than Horror. We have to understand, though, this is strictly a financial decision on its part. An adventure movie, rated PG-13, like the Stephen Sommers-directed MUMMY films,…Continue readingThe Universal Monsters shared universe is something to get excited about
New werewolf-related projects tend to come along fairly frequently; the genre is as wildly popular as ever, and there are moviemakers aplenty willing to pander to that appetite. Granted, sometimes you have to look for them. For every GOOD werewolf film there are ten bad ones, at least. (And even a bad one can be…Continue readingUpcoming Werewolf Flicks Look Promising
If you’ve ever heard of JoJo the Dog-faced Boy or Lionel the Lion man, you’ve heard of individuals who suffered from the condition hypertrichosis, which causes the growth hair all over the body. I have a bit of the Carnie in my soul, so had I lived in years past and been unfortunate enough to…Continue readingHypertrichosis: A Hairy Condition
What’s your favorite villain/monster from MTV’s series TEEN WOLF? I’d have to say mine is the Nogitsune. I’m not a huge mark for the show, honestly, but it is at its best when serving up new and different types of evil baddies for its heroes to have to face. I enjoy the sampling from other…Continue readingTEEN WOLF’s Nogitsune: A Worthy Werewolf Opponent
I’ve written about the Lykoi, or “werewolf kitten,” before, but they’re getting coverage in the news again, so for those who might have missed it the first time, here’s the skinny on these cute (depending on who you ask) little feline lycanthropes. They are the result of selective breeding processes, and, as there are some…Continue readingWerewolf Kittens Return!
It wasn’t a bad plan, as far as plans go, if one takes any trace of morality out of it, any considerations of human decency, and looks at it from strictly a pragmatic point of view. Russia, under the brutal Bolshevik reign of Joseph Stalin, had lots of land the government couldn’t make use of,…Continue readingCannibals in the Cold
This would seem to be a case of standard crime, and thus not warrant mentioning here, were it not for the “ritual” connection. A young woman, unidentified by police, was kidnapped by 32-year-old Mercedes Salazar and three cohorts in San Antonio, Texas about a month back. The 25-year-old female had been dating Salazar’s brother when…Continue readingKidnapped woman a victim of “blood ritual”
Any writer can tell you, the old adage “Never let the facts get in the way of a good story” is an important rubric of great value and should be frequently put into practice. Screenwriters understand this better than most, and sometimes take it a step farther than necessary, seeking to fix what isn’t broken…Continue readingReal-life Exorcist weighs in on Hollywood
Here is the formula: Human beings move into an area, clearing the land, transforming the forests into farmland and killing off the indigenous apex predators: wolves, bears, and mountain lions. These people bring with them their dogs, quadruped companions of our species for tens of thousands of years. It isn’t as easy to kill off…Continue readingWe’ve Created a New Predator – And Why That’s Not Necessarily a Good Thing
I do feel bad for the owners of the house featured in the movie THE CONJURING. (A well-made film, but perhaps a little critically overrated, as the events recounted in the movie, ostensibly based on a true story, are all the same pretty familiar to genre fans.) The house shown in the movie is NOT…Continue readingDemonic Real Estate
When you hear some right-wing Christian fundamentalists today crying about persecution, what they are really bemoaning is that they are no longer afforded preferential treatment. And when those same zealots start touting “freedom of religion” as their mantra, what they really are saying is they demand the right to force their religion on YOU. These…Continue readingFreedom of Religion – Except For Yours
I’d seen something on this before, on Travel Channel or something. There’s a bridal shop in Chihuahua, Mexico, called ‘La Popular,” with a mannequin in the front window that may be the mummified corpse of the previous owner’s daughter, Pascualita. The young woman, so the story goes, died on her wedding day from a spider…Continue readingIs it dead, or is it Memorex?
The human brain is programmed to recognize faces. That’s why we so often see them in places where they don’t really exist. How many times has the Virgin Mary shown up in cake batter, or in the grain pattern in hardwood flooring? Anybody remember Jesus’s face on that billboard shilling spaghetti? Our tendency to spot…Continue readingA Werewolf on Mars
“Rougarou” is a sort of Cajun werewolf. (The word derives from the French Roux-Ga-Roux, which is itself a conflation of the more familiar term “loup garou,” or werewolf.) It is unique among lycanthropes, however, and deviates from the standard myth in many key ways. As with Bigfoot-type creatures that are said to inhabit swamps and…Continue readingThe Rougarou
Other than nasty and doubtless smelly, that is. Discovered by persons unknown near the Parana River in Carmen del Paraná, Itapúa, Paraguay, the decomposing corpse looks a little like an alien. Or a Chupacabra. Or a skinned orangutan. Or a miniature version of the Flukeman from my favorite episode of THE X FILES. Or the…Continue readingWhat is it?
He’s the biggest and the baddest Bigfoot around. Probably the smelliest, too. They call him Thunderfoot. “They” in this case being the producers of the Destination America TV show ALASKA MONSTERS. (I hear they’re planning on doing a show later this season on the Palin family called “White Trash from Hell.”) I’m not sure if…Continue readingThundah(foot)! Ah,ah,ah,ah,ah,ah,ah,ah!
So the story goes, workers in meat processing plants would fall to their deaths inside the vats, wherein they were ground up into unrecognizable pink globs and become intermixed with the bologna or hamburger or whatever. No customer ever noticed, as humans taste similar enough to cattle or pigs. This happened so often that it…Continue readingCannibal Hotdogs
You know, almost every day when scanning social media, I am taken aback by something that some friend or other has shared, believing it to be genuine. Most of my friends are not idiots, and so are educated enough and savvy enough that they should recognize fallacy when they see it. I suspect their confirmation…Continue readingCannibal Loose in the Funhouse!