Here are some of the floppiest film werewolves of all time, woot.
1. Werewolf (1996)
This whole movie, was so effing ridiculous, it actually made it into an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. The best ever.
2. Werewolf: The Devil’s Hound (2007)
I saw this, and all I could think of was… “Memories, all alone in the moonlight…” because seriously, this is not a werewolf, it even has like, kitty cat, tiger-stripey lines on its face.
3. Any Twilight Movie (2008 – 2012)
Basically, like, the pre-teen version of Magic Mike every time they stroll on the scene. They aren’t werewolves. They just exist to make housewives uncomfortable.
4. Buffy the Vampire Slayer: “Wild at Heart”
Meet Veruca; she’s Oz’s female counterpart. I think of Veruca Salt, from Willy Wonka, and then I see her, with all the hair, and think… “Dude, Cousin It, after getting his bangs trimmed, looks pretty damn scary.”
5. The Howling III (1987)
Everything after the original film, ‘The Howling’ was crap. But, in all fairness, they were also funny crap. We really need them to generate more crap. Or reboot the film. And add the werewolf nuns.
6. The Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf (1985)
It just… no. I don’t care how sexy anyone thinks this is. Gross. And additionally, the fact that all their mouths are open, just skeevs me out more.
7. ???
I have no idea where this is from, it might be a video game, it might be a really heinous SyFy channel movie. Either way, they look like rabid, deformed hedgehogs. Someone call Animal Control, pronto!
8. Blood & Chocolate (2007)
This movie was such a disappointment to me, especially since the book was so terrific; the story is ridiculously different from the book, and it’s all just… fluff for preteens.
9. Ven Helsing (2004)
The werewolves in Van Helsing are all ridiculously well-built. And they’re all CGI-y, and ridiculously. I mean, if they could have made them look slightly less like hairy Ken dolls, and made more of an effort in puppetry, then who knows, it could have been cool.
10. Skinwalkers (2006)
Because no matter how leather your bikini is, you still have hairy tits.
