10 Disturbing Parallels Between the Kardashians and Werewolves
1. Solitary, Volatile Creatures
Most of the time, Kardashians, much like werewolves, prefer not to be disturbed by outside influences, or external forces.
2. Extremely Painful Transformations
Both werewolves and Kardashians must endure agonizing pain before each transformation; as shown above, Kardashians, much like werewolves, have an amazingly high tolerance for pain.
3. Female Aggression
Female werewolves generally express violent aggression to other females, especially human women. Kardashians are equally aggressive to females outside the pack.
4. Constant Howling
Both werewolves and the Kardashians seem to break down every fifteen minutes, in order to let out a series of emotional, and theatrical howling.
5. Bizarre Changes in Mammary Glands
Werewolf females and males, often sprout additional pairs of nipples, and the females are often burdened with multiple rows of breasts. The Kardashians also suffer from an overabundance of breasts.
6. Strange Feeding Habits
Werewolves and Kardashians both have feeding habits that are very different from those of humans; though werewolves tend to overeat, and Kardashians gorge in private, while in public, appear to use straws as eating utensils.
7. Loved Ones Struggle With the Truth
Werewolves and Kardashians do often try to make their loved ones more aware of their condition; most of the time, those loved ones are unable to accept the truth right away.
8. Dependence on Mythical Solutions
Both the Kardashians and werewolves in general place a huge amount of stock in the potential intervention of mythical forces; in almost every situation, however, it’s human violence and ingenuity that stops the Kardashians and werewolves. No magic spells or entities required.
9. Top Bitch Runs the Pack
As in werewolf, and popularized pecking order, as far as wolves’ social cues are understood, there is an alpha female, and that female runs the pack, and will respond with extreme aggression if she is crossed.
10. Horrifying Transformations
Werewolves and Kardashians transform in secret, but occasionally, you do see signs of the beast within; observe the snarling curl of the lip, the large forehead…