werewolf, werewolves and lycans

Who’s the Most Badass Werewolf of them all?

To keep this thing in focus, let’s consider only the werewolves of the movies/TV, ‘kay? Maybe I’ll do a “most badass werewolf of Literature” some other time. Which beast would get your vote? Like, if they all were put into an arena and had to fight it out, last werewolf standing, which werewolf would be the victor? My first inclination would be to suggest the “Bete” from BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF. It sure LOOKS the scariest, I think, but it isn’t a true werewolf. (I won’t give away exactly what it is, in case there’s one or two of you out there who haven’t seen the movie.) We’ll exclude it from consideration, then. Only true Lycanthropes are eligible for this fight.

The werewolves of THE HOWLING? Good contenders. I’d rank them alongside the brutes of DOG SOLDIERS. Still, this is a one-on-one fight; they can’t act as a pack. Would Eddie from the former be able to take out one of the latter? I’d say yes. But how would Eddie fare against the four-legged nightmare from AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON? I think I’d have to give the edge to the latter. It would seem to have a size and weight advantage. But Janos Skorzeny from the short-lived and seriously underrated TV series WEREWOLF could tear a steel prison door off its hinges. He and the American Werewolf might just fight each other to a standstill.

Is brute strength alone enough, though? What about intelligence? Leon from CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF would outthink his opponents, even Skorzeny, I bet. Overall, though, I think the deciding factor in this contest would be stamina. Who can take the most punishment and keep clawing and biting. I pronounce the winner, then, and the most badass of all werewolves, to be Larry Talbot, the Wolfman. He’s been killed off, and resurrected, more than any of the others. He would pull a classic rope-a-dope for the win!

(Note: I didn’t include the “werewolves” from TWILIGHT in this contest because there wouldn’t be any point. And, as much as I liked BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, the same is true of Oz. This is a heavyweight bout, and they don’t qualify.)

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!

The Evil Cheezman • June 6, 2017


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