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Werewolf News: Watch Out Werewolves, A Man With a Sword is Coming!

March 26th, 2010 § 1

In Bainbridge Island, WA, a man was, how shall we say… seriously freaking out, yes, –because he believed that amongst us were both werewolves and CHUDs to be hunted! While neither Hugh Jackman, nor Victoria Beckham were in the area, the man was adamant nonetheless. Police were called, and they found the man in a hardware store parking lot, shirtless, and swinging around a hefty sword. He also had throwing knives with him as well. I guess buying the sword and throwing knives tapped him out before he could purchase a handgun and silver bullets, –FYI serious collectors, Remington will make customized silver bullets on request. The lack of firearm regardless of ammo, is sincerely fortunate, because he also raved that these creatures were hiding among us in human form.

Seattle-Weekly has more details:

“Your typical werewolf hunter usually arms himself with silver bullets. Which makes one shirtless Bainbridge Island man anything but your typical werewolf hunter.

Yesterday afternoon cops were called to the parking lot of the ProBuild hardware store. There they found a 35-year-old bare-torsoed man waving a sword. When they asked what he was doing, the wolf-man tracker replied that he was “hunting werewolves and chuds.”

The clearly deranged man had scratches all over his body and told cops he was concerned for his safety. The werewolves, he said, often took human form. Which meant you could never be too careful.

Cops quickly disarmed the man and found that, on top of the sword, he was also carrying a number of throwing knives. He hasn’t been charged with a crime. But he has been taken to Harrison Memorial in Bremerton for an evaluation, where he’ll hopefully be given a handful of whatever it is that makes you stop seeing the world as filled with blood-thirsty were-men.”

Not that I don’t love democracy, but is there any way to keep the obviously insane from watching horror movies? Probably not without taking a few tips from China, where horror films are being lifted off the shelves left and right, and being replaced by -gasp- romantic comedies! I don’t know what’s more terrifying, being forced to watch awkward dialogue, witty banter, and botched lovemaking scenes, or braving the streets with the ‘true believers’ running amok.

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One Response to Werewolf News: Watch Out Werewolves, A Man With a Sword is Coming!

  1. Fantasy says:

    Where did you get this?

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