The Neanderthals of Jersey Shore

One could attempt a reasoned argument that the late and anything but lamented television abomination and celebration of all things crude, course, vapid, and putrid about American pop culture today—I am speaking of MTV’s JERSEY SHORE, may it forever rot in hell!—appealed only to Neanderthals, but that would be insulting to Neanderthals who, more and more, are being proven by Science to have been smarter and more cultured than previously believed. Remember the Geico commercials where the cavemen get insulted? In point of fact they SHOULD be insulted. The use of the term “Neanderthal” as a synonym for stupidity or uncouthness is flawed, dated, and needs to be done away with. Our hirsute cousin deserve better.

This article has nothing to do with debauched pop culture excess. It’s about SCIENCE, as far removed from today’s MTV world as you can get. I’m talking about the real Jersey shore, a real spot, as in a geographic site, and it isn’t in NEW Jersey but in OLD Jersey; that is to say, La Cotte de St Brelade is located in the Channel Islands off the coast of Britain. In ages past this location, which probably wasn’t an island at the time, due to much lower sea levels, served as a settlement and a stopover point for Neanderthal people, being fully or partially inhabited from some 240,000 years ago until as recently as 40,000 years ago, which is towards the end of the Neanderthal species time on earth (unless some of them live on as Yetis or Bigfoots). The Jersey layover destination is important because it shows the extent to which the Neanderthals could remember locations and assign importance to them. They kept going back there not only because it had resources they needed but because it held cultural significance as well.

See, Geico DID have it all wrong.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763 MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!

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