werewolf, werewolves and lycans

Aurochs on the Way Back

You ever heard the old saying “Everybody on the planet is either predator or prey. And if you don’t know which you are, you’re prey,” or some variation on that? It’s generally accurate, but don’t feel bad if you aren’t a predator. Human beings in general ARE predators, but the way the slogan is used, it typically denotes the division between types of humans, delineation into either criminals and everybody else. The Ted Bundys of the world may be the predators, but take heart. Technically speaking, the Cape Buffalo is a prey animal, in that it is an herbivore. So are the rhinoceros, the hippopotamus, and the elephant. And there tain’t NO predators big or bad enough to wanna mess with one of THEM.

Aurochs were a prey animal. They were herbivores. But to dismiss them as merely a “big cow,” as this article does, is paying them a disservice. They were freakin’ HUGE, with big-ass honkin’ horns, and were probably of a similar temperament to the aforementioned Cape Buffalo—which is to say, crazy aggressive and bad news for anything they came across smaller than them. If you saw BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD, you get an idea of what an aurochs was actually like—scary as f*ck. (Although they actually just put Vietnamese potbellied pigs in monster make-up and made them look huge, it was effective.) Oh, and scientists are working to bring the aurochs back to life through the process of back-breeding. Just call it “Pleistocene Park.”

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!

The Evil Cheezman • January 10, 2017


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